Chase: Hey guys, it's Chase with CF Joseph.life, and welcome to video number two, where we do a deep dive into the 16 personalities, 16 archetypes according to Jungian analytical psychology, according to depth psychology, and inset whatever appropriate title there may be for this science, because everyone who's involved apparently has to label it a million different ways for some reason. I have no clue! Anyway, yesterday we talked about the ESTJs and what they're all about, what their perspective is and whatnot, how their cognitive functions work, their interaction style, their temperament, et cetera. I think closer today I'm going to be more closer to the point and be direct as I can, even though I'm just a fast talker informative type, but ESTPs are triple direct with their interactions, so let's just do a deep dive into the ESTP, also know as the persuader.
Chase: ESTPs, I love ESTPs, my cousin is an ESTPs. ESTPs are DICs, you know Direct Initiating Control, right? ESTPs are also, well if they're the ultimate realist, and if you're doing anything "unreal", they're going to get in your face about it right away. Why are they known as the ultimate realist? It's because they have expert at sensing hero. I've got my trusty whiteboard here, and we're going to be looking at ESTPs and their, as I said, their trusty Se hero.
Chase: Welcome to ESTPs: Extroverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving. ESTJs, Extroverted Sensing Thinking Judging, that was who we were discussing yesterday, they wake up in the morning and because they're usually J-type, they have their whole day planned, and not ESTPs though. ESTPs are more like, "Well, a new day, I'm going to get really cranky when I get up every morning," because that's what ESTPs do, they're just cranky when they get up in the morning. "Ugh, I was enjoying my sleep, why do I have to get up? I'm just going to rage like the Incredible Hulk when I get up." When they approach the day, they don't plan their day. Like most P-types, their day just happens to them. They like to react and have tactics for their day instead of strategizing their day, so they just react to the day as it comes within the moment by moment. A lot of people have a problem with ESTPs over this, but that's just how they are. In fact, most P-types are this way.
Chase: J-types have a plan for their day, P-types just let their day come to them or happen to them. J-types happen to their day, P-types, their day happens to them, I guess is a better way of putting it. Anyway, ESTPs are artisans for their temperament, all about freedom, freedom-based creator, yet they're also a structure type in the in-chargeable, direct initiating control. They're kind of the odd man out when it comes to the direct initiating control types, because ESTPs usually, they don't want to be in charge. They're actually perfectly fine with letting the ESTJ be in charge. Why is that?
Chase: Well, the ESPT will go along with a system, go along with a situation until their Se hero kind of figures out everything that's going on. Then they'll start to want to make changes because they'll realize that the system is dumb, or that the rules that exist need to be tested, and whether or not they should be legit. The ESTPs will end up taking charge, because they're like, "Wow, this is really stupid, and everyone around here is being stupid, and this si just retarded, why are we wasting our time doing this? This is dumb." What they do is they immediately take charge and they start tearing down that system, completely demolishing the building of systems or processes or whatever it is, and they start building new ones using their freedom-based creative artisan temperament to basically artisan a new system, a new way of doing things.
Chase: Then, they're tired of being in charge, and they just hand it over to the ESTJ to manage. Because an ESTP is not really about management, it's about taking charge when necessary, doing what needs to be done because they're the ultimate realist, and then handing it off to somebody else to deal with, because it's just not their thing, yet they're still leaders. ESTPs are like the alpha, of all the 16 types, the ESTP is literally the most attractive type to women. Why is that? It's because they're the alpha type. You can't get more alpha male than a mature ESTP. They even have their own wolf pack, and because they have the reputation of being dicks, it's because they often have the omega around their wolf pack, and they're constantly just crapping all over the omega and treating the omega like crap, and hazing the omega over and over, or anyone that they perceive is an omega on the schoolyard, or at their work or whatever, they're going to point out with their Se hero, and give that person an experience, and let everyone else know around that that person is an omega.
Chase: Why? Well, is it because they're dicks? Is it because they're bad people? Is it because ESTPs are abusive, like they're constantly accused of being physically abusive, or just abusive in general? No, that's not why they do it. Okay, so it's all about Se hero, Ti parent, Fe child, Ni inferior. Fe child is actually really caring, and it's trying to give balloons and candy to everybody. The problem is, is that it doesn't want to give balloons and candy to anyone that is not behaving the way they should. Other people behaving they way they should is expert at sensing. The ESTP gives that person an experience to see how they react. If they don't react properly, well then the ESTP is going to have a problem with them.
Chase: If they don't react in the way that the ESTP believes they should based on the system that they're facing, the social system, that's what I'm talking about. Let's say you have someone who has extroverted-feeling trickster, like an INTJ. The ESTP sees the INTJ constantly screwing up over and over all of the social rules and social machinations and social expectations of a social situation, and because of that, the ESTP is like, "Well, this guy is really screwing up, I'm going to treat him like an omega." Why?
Chase: Because it's an attempt to improve the person with their INFJ subconscious. Remember, the INFJ is a people person, the INFJ's main purpose is to produce better people. The main export of the INFJ is improving human beings. There's a concept of positive help and negative help. Fe user is usually Fe parents, Fe heroes are all about helping other people, improving them, making them feel good, if they have extroverted sensing along with Fe, it's all about giving them a good experience. I mean, that's what ESTPs do as well, but ESTPs are not afraid of the concept of negative help. It's more like, "I'm going to tear you down limb from limb, but then I'm going to build you up afterwards and make you into a better man, make you into a better woman, make you into a better person."
Chase: They do this with systems, they do this at their job, but they do it with people especially, especially people that they actually really care about. It's not that they're trying to be abusive assholes, it's the fact that ESTPs are trying to improve others, actually. They realize that sometimes people just need to hit rock bottom, sometimes people need to be put in check, sometimes they need to get a reality check. ESTPs are literally walking reality checks, that's why they exist. Everyone needs a reality check and they know it, and they're the best type suited to give reality checks.
Chase: ISTPs can give reality checks, but it's usually like way less, and not so focused on the good of the person. They'll focus on improving people, but only from like a mentorship point of view, and it's very long term. ESTPs are more short term, and slightly more shallow about it, but they end up having more positive results in the end, because Fe child is actually stronger than Fe inferior between the ESTP and the ISTP. They actually are able to generate some real value, and their Se hero, the experiences that it gives, positive or negative, remember negative help, the concept of negative help is really giving those people, they're using their Se hero to literally etch the soul, permanently etch the soul of other people they come into contact with, so that those people will remember those improvements indefinitely, and those people will change indefinitely.
Chase: That's what the ESTP is all about. It's about persuading people either physically or intellectually, mentally or whatever, emotionally, persuading people, because no one likes to be persuaded, and sometimes you just have to get your fist out for some real "persuasions", that's what ESTPs, they're willing to go that far if they have to. They fight fair, they don't like dirty fighting, like an ESTP, they're always going to fight man to man, face to face. An ENTP like me, I'm going to run away from the conflict initially, and then come back and nail them when they're not looking. That way, it's a killing blow and I don't have to worry about it anymore.
Chase: Whereas the ESTP is willing to trade blows straight up, and channel all their Se rage and focus it at that one moment for the purpose of making their point, if necessary. Again, it's all from the point of view of negative help, they're trying to help and improve the person, but they're doing it from a negative point of view, because life is not about sunshine and rainbows. The ultimate realist realizes it has to provide reality checks to other people, in order to keep those people healthy, that's what they do, they're walking around Mr. Reality Check, that's why the ESTP is considered the alpha male type.
Chase: ESTP women, they do this too, but not like for more of a big thing, because they have sacred femininity, they're focused on the little things of life. Trust me, sometimes the little things in life are way more important than the big things of life. I'm not saying that big things or little things are better than each other, I'm just saying that sometimes big things are more important than little things and vice versa. I mean, just look at the ring that men put on women's hands on their finger when they're getting married, that's a little thing and yet it's extremely valuable. That's just a representation of valuable little things, and honoring sacred femininity.
Chase: Sacred masculinity is about the big things, but regardless, male and female ESTPs end up becoming the alpha of their groups of their friends. Why? Because they need to be giving people reality checks over and over and over, just to make sure that those people keep their head on straight, because it's very important to ESTPs that people around them are successful. ESTPs are all about being impactful, they want to impact people with their extroverted sensing hero, and impact them so that they have a better experience, a better today. They want to make their day better, they want to have such an impact that they want to make their past better.
Chase: Why? Well, because ESTPs worry about their past, they worry about their childhood, they get really nostalgic, and they're worried that things could have been better in their past, so they really want to give people the absolute best experience, so it's memorable in a very positive way. Even if they're negative experiences that they're giving, they're still memorable to the point where people, after they've received some of that reality check, negativity, or maybe they even accuse the ESTP of being abusive at that point in time, they'll still remember it from the ESTP, and eventually 20 years later, go to the ESTP and thank them for all of that criticism, for all of that help.
Chase: It's all about criticism, ESTP is super focused on criticism. They will criticize everyone, they'll criticize other people's thinking, they'll criticize using their Ti parent, their logic, their rationale, their critic here, parent and logic, and it really helps them negatively improve other people, using a form of negativity, criticism, to improve others, to tear them down in order to build them up. The ESTP will build them up and make them part of the pack, so that they're no longer omegas, but they're betas, potentially able to become alphas of their own packs later.
Chase: Yeah, just that's basically how ESTPs work, they are there to persuade people, they're there to do things better, to have better systems, they're there to test the rules, they're there to be Mr. Reality Check, Ms. Reality Check. They're also there to, like most expert sensing users, they do loyalty checks. If you're in a relationship with an ESTP, like most Se users, they will purposefully push you away, just to see if you'll come back to them. It's called a loyalty check. I am very anti-loyalty check, but I also understand in order for an Se user to be healthy mentally, it's important for them to have some loyalty checks every now and then, just to make sure that the Si user that they're usually in a relationship with is still loyal to them.
Chase: Because an ESTP really wants people loyal to them, and especially the person that they're intimate with, to the point where, will you be willing to follow me over a cliff? That's so central to ESTPs, and if their lover is not willing to go that far, if their lover is not willing to sacrifice their own life for the ESTP, because the ESTP is for damned sure willing to take a bullet for their loved one. There's an old saying, "There is no greater love than when a man gives up his life for his beloved." ESTPs take that very seriously, very seriously. So do ENTPs, but ESTPs do especially, because they're all about, "I've been focusing on giving you all this good advice, these good experiences, I want you to have a better today, I want you to have fond memories of me. I think that you need to value things differently, and I want to show you how you could do things better, so that you can have a better memory of what's going on, so you can have a good experience in your today, and possibly even into your tomorrow, so that you can continue to give other people good experiences, as a result of the experience I gave you."
Chase: They're etching each others souls with their expert sensing hero, that's what it's all about, that's what ESTPs are all about. Anyway, that's more of like a general point, so let's dive into the cognitive functions a little bit. We've been talking a lot about Se hero, so Ti parent, they're kind of pessimistic with what's actually true, so ESTPs spend a lot of time thinking about what's true and what's false. Combined with Te critic, this is what causes them to be critical towards rules, so every rule has to be tested by ESTP to figure out whether or not it's valid Fe child. Fe child will test if that rule is valid.
Chase: If that rule is valid and actually is good for something, then I'll follow that rule, because to an ESTP's point of view, rules are subjective. It's not just going to follow the rules for the sake of following rules, it will break every rule that it has to, because it has to test every rule, it's part of that loyalty checking, it's part of that reality checking: "Is this rule being here actually important for us to have, or do I need to destroy it and light it on fire to replace it with something better?" That's the ESTP way, right?
Chase: Fe child is all about improving other people, they really want, they're extremely caring, they're willing to invest in others, they're willing to go further, they really want to teach others and bring individuals, not necessarily groups, but individuals to a point of reaching their highest self. They really want others to become their own alphas, basically. It's kind of a situation where a lot of people end up misunderstanding ESTP's intentions. Why is that? Well, they have Ni inferior.
Chase: Here's the first weakness of the ESTP, is that they're very insecure about what they want, they're very insecure about their own future. This is what causes ESTPs to get stuck in what I call "analysis paralysis", they're spending all day long trying to gather information about what other people are doing, so that they know what they want to do. The problem is, they get stuck at just gathering information, so they end up not making a decision. What does that mean? Well, ESTPs are hugely at risk, especially youthful ESTPs, of having what I call failure to launch syndrome. They really do have a hard time getting out of the house, you know like being those men who have failed to launch in their lives.
Chase: Why? It's because they're too insecure. "What if I want the wrong thing? What if this doesn't work out? What if ...", and that's the problem, they end up not making decisions and they end up becoming idle and having ... They're just too afraid to make decisions sometimes, so they'll make no decision and they'll stagnate. Then there's no line, and that's when an ESTP can get really worthless, is when they start stagnating, and someone like me has got to come around and be like, "Bro, you've really improved me and my life, but I need to remind you all the things that you taught me." Why, why does the reminder have to happen?
Chase: Well, because they have Si nemesis. ESTPs live so much in the moment that their mind, any new information that they're getting in the moment, they're actually pushing out some of their old information, their hard drive is not as much as their RAM is, if you know what I mean. Based on that, the nemesis, they worry about the past, they worry about their long term memory, they worry about their childhood, they get really nostalgic when they get super depressed in that way, and that's because they worry about their past, they worry about their past experiences, they worry that their memories were not good enough, so they're constantly seeking to make new memories with the people that they care about the most, especially their children and especially their lover.
Chase: ESTPs, for example, are also the absolute most sexual of all of the types. ESTPs do struggle with being what I call "serial monogamists", I know some ESTPs who have black books with over 400 names, that's very normal. The highest ESTP that I ever knew, and how long he had his black book, he had over 1,100 names, he's been physically with 1,100 different women, and it's partly because he's so insecure about what he wants, he just doesn't know which woman he wants, so he's constantly trying to try out as many of them as possible. Because of his Se hero, he has to have sex, because that's the only way that if he can give a lover a good experience and cause them to value him and potentially be loyal to him, then he's not constantly worrying about the experiences that he's had in the past, he's no longer worried about whether or not certain sexual experiences were better than others, and he can fill that hole of actually feeling good about himself, because ESTPs don't really care about how they feel.
Chase: They don't have moral awareness, they have ethical awareness, but they don't really do moral decision making. That's why constantly ESTPs are asking others, "Hey, how do you feel about this?" with their decision making, you know or, "Is this an experience that you would like to have?" or, "Have you done this before, so I know if it's safe enough or not for me to want it?" ESTPs, even though a lot of people classify them as unsafe, because SJs, traditionalists, are very focused on safety, ESTPs are more focused on becoming safe. They want to make safe decisions, the problem is they can't arrive to what decisions are safe on their own, so they have to do a lot of research, constantly looking into what other people are doing, so that they know what's safe for them to want to do, because they're so insecure in their own future, they're just so afraid of wanting the wrong thing.
Chase: What you do to ESTPs is that you encourage them, and you show them options: "Hey, you could do this, you could do that, you could do that thing over there," and that's what any child from ESTJs or ESFJs, or even Ne inferior from ISTJs or ISFJs do for the ESTP, those Ne cognitive functions, children or inferiors, are encouraging the ESTP with lots of different options that the ESTP could go. That way, the ESTP feels safe about decisions that the ESTP makes, and then they're able to execute. Without that support, it takes even longer for them to gather more information, and they're at risk of being idle, they're at risk of not making any decision, they're at risk of not moving forward in their life, they are at risk of stagnating and potentially putting their manhood at risk, because of the lack of progress in their life.
Chase: Because remember, they're a control type, they're a direct initiating control, so they're trying to keep everything under control, even though most people accuse ESTPs of being chaotic. I apologize for the length of this video, but there's a lot of content that we have to cover with ESTPs especially, because they're very misunderstood, and I want to make sure that a point is driven home here. It says "ISTP unconscious", that's not even accurate, that's supposed to be ISTJ, let me fix that. It's triggering me. ISTJ, sorry for the confusion there, guys. Okay, much better, yep, ISTJ, ENFP, perfect.
Chase: Anyway, there, ISTJ shadow is, like I said, we talked about Si nemesis so far, they're very critical towards statistics, data, because they know that data can be easily fudged. When they see a statistic or a graph or something, they like to question it. It's also what causes them to question rules, question authority, it's their Te critic. They're just very critical towards other people's thinking, to the point that ESTPs often walk around in life believing, especially when they're young, believing that everyone else around them is stupid. Like literally, they walk around believing other people are stupid, and it's just like, "Come on guys, there actually is really smart people."
Chase: However, the older or more mature an ESTP gets, they start establishing relationships with other alphas. They start to realize that yes, there are other smart people, and then they become more responsible with their critic function, and they're not so easily just insta-thinking that, "Okay, this person is stupid, I'm going to have nothing to do with them again, or I'm not going to take them seriously," which they can do. It's kind of like when a woman friend-zones a guy, but it's the ESTP is "stupid-zoning" somebody. ISTPs are way worse at that than ESTPs though, ISTPs get super annoyed with what they believe is a stupid person, and they won't even give them the time of day, and it's extremely hard to get out of that box, whereas it's a lot easier with an ESTP, thank God, especially since they're like the alpha type, basically.
Chase: Like more women are attracted to ESTP than any other type of man, that is a fact, and it's because of the cultural bias attached to it. What this SJ society believes, you know especially the women collectively, that the ESTP is literally the ideal man, by majority. I'm not saying everyone does that, but by majority, that's how it's seen, and there's a nice cultural bias attached to that. We'd also talked about Fi trickster, they have a lack of morals. A lot of people think ESTPs are immoral, especially because ESTPs are serial monogamists usually. Although ESTPs, if they do have spiritual beliefs or religious beliefs, they can adhere to them in a very hardcore way, but sometimes they can get so focused on the dogma that it actually inhibits their own human growth.
Chase: I'd recommend ESTPs to use their Te critic and really test all of the rules of their spiritual belief system and all of the research as much as possible with their ISTJ scholar shadow, to really really test their religion to its limits, so that they get a full life and are not held down by dogma. Dogma, according to Steve Jobs, is when people start living with the results of other people's thinking, and ESTPs are very weak to dogma. If ESTPs get caught up in dogma, they are liable to destroy their lives and the lives of other people, because instead of being completely free, which is where they need to be, they need to always have freedom, freedom of choice, freedom of life, freedom to do basically whatever they want, because it's the only way they can get over their insecurity and aspire with introverted intuition, if they can aspire, they are more free, they're able to improve people better, they're able to contribute to society better, they're able to give people a better experience and so on.
Chase: Dogma gets in the way of that, and it's one of the weaknesses that the ESTP can get suckered into, and sometimes you just hope they snap out of it. Their demon is expert intuition demon, they have no awareness, or they do not care about anything metaphysical. That's why ESTPs, it's very rare for them to have spiritual beliefs, because spiritual beliefs are usually attached to metaphysics, but ESTPs for the most part just will have nothing to do with it. They don't care what other people's intentions are, they don't care about what they want. Why? It's because they're trying so hard to figure out what they want. They don't have any time or mental space to figure out what other people want. It's not even real to them, they just don't care.
Chase: Just tell me what's real, this is unreal. You know, that's like especially like when an ESTP is trying to look at conspiracy theories and whatnot, the conspiracy theories, it's all theory. They hate theory, ESTPs are very not interested in theory, so you start talking theory to an ESTP, you're liable to make them upset and get ragey. Be careful, and I don't recommend talking theory with an ESTP, unless of course you can provide real statistics, real information, real data to support your theory, and that's only at that point, while their Se hero, with their ISTJ shadow, actually really consider that.
Chase: Let's look at subconscious up here, the INFJ subconscious. They can become the INFJ when they get over their introvert intuition insecurity. That INFJ is all about improving other people, it's like the type that they're trying to become. They want to be that sage on the mountain that is someone that anyone can go to for help or advice, and they can get really super spiritual and practice dogma in a proper way, not an improper way, not like a self abusive way, but a way that makes sense. "Here's all the dogmas I've looked at, here's all the good parts of all the dogmas I've looked at, live your life this way, but don't just follow a dogma for the sake of blind faith."
Chase: An ESTP is all about not blind faith, an ESTP is all about testing faith, because they realize that faith without works is dead, because why? They're action oriented, Se hero is trying to look for what the action is, what is the action, guys? If there's no actions behind your faith, then you're obviously, there's no faith there, duh. You know, that's kind of how they look at it, because they're the ultimate realist. If they get over their worry, they can get in their ISTJ, they could become the walking encyclopedia. ESTPs over time just start collecting data and reference points, and they use that to further ... You know, an ESTP can really stand up to some intellectuals for sure, of the four intellectual types, because eventually they just start gathering so much reference points, they start becoming this mini-walking library, and all of that just serves their Se hero, because then people are like, "Wow, the ESTP is really wise, what happened? 10 years ago, he didn't do that, but now he knows so much more," and it just causes people to respect him.
Chase: That's one other thing about ESTPs, ESTPs are all about respect, they have to have respect. They treat everyone with respect, and anyone that they treat with respect, they expect others to respect them. Respect is everything to an ESTP, absolutely everything. It's pretty important to certain other types as well, but it's the most important thing to the ESTP, that's why they are the alpha. Of course they talk in respect, they communicate in respect, they expect respect, they live respect. The problem is though, because they're so much that way, they end up losing self respect if they get so insecure in their own future and with what they want. If you can get them to snap out of that by giving them options and showing them beaten paths or paths that they could take, lots of options, then they won't get stuck in that way.
Chase: Anyway, their superego is also the ENFP. If they're like in their most evil thing, or if they've tried to solve a problem with their ego, their subconscious, or their unconscious and they're not able to solve a problem, when it comes to being ENFP, if they really hate you, they'll just tell you something just to see where you'll go, send you down a little rabbit hole path that will lead to your destruction. The ESTP in their demon mode, in their parasite mode is like you're trying to ask them for directions, but they secretly hate you and they're not going to tell you. Then they'll give you directions that will lead you to your death, basically, that's kind of the concept that it is.
Chase: "Here, let me give you some advice that will only completely screw you and your future over." Any demon exists to screw over the futures of others, because they're so focused on making other people's nows or other people's pasts better that their mind is uniquely keyed to make sure that they are screwing other people's futures, if you piss them off, if you disrespect them, or if they are perceiving that you are disrespecting them. Anyway, that is the profile of the ESTP, also known as the persuader.
Chase: If you found this video to be helpful, educational, please leave a like or subscribe. If you have any questions about ESTPs, go ahead and leave them in the comments, and I'll do my best to get back to you. I'm going to be doing, I've got 14 more videos of these profiles of the types that we're going to be doing, and then we're going to just keep going even deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper than we are, and especially when you start talking about virtue and vice. Anyway, thank you for being such a great audience, and thank you for all the questions coming in, especially on Twitter and the comments on YouTube. I will do my best to answer all of your questions soon.
Chase: Also, I'm getting video requests, I haven't forgot about you guys, I will be posting videos to answer those questions as well. Anyway, I'll see you guys tonight or tomorrow.