How Do I Love My Neighbor As Myself So I Can Be Loved By Others?
Chase: 00:01 Hey guys, it's CS Joseph with CSJoseph.life, filming from one of the pinnacles of the many hills and mountains here on Dry Creek Park in East Bay towards San Francisco. So this is going to kick off a new human nurture series that we've been working on. I think it's going to be... be talking about the four pillars of self intimacy. Why are they important? Well, thing is, is that when someone's about to start out being on relationships with other people, those relationships end up having a lot of conflict if you are a mature or immature before they start. So four pillars to self intimacy, it[s] really boils down to, like, knowing yourself and... if you don't know yourself then how can you reach an understanding of another person? Or let's go even deeper, if you don't know how to love yourself, how or what business do you have loving another person?
Chase: 01:17 And that can be a problem. A lot of people, they start their relationships out early, sometimes even in high school, college age, but they don't even know themselves yet. If you don't know yourself, how are you able to know anyone else? If you don't love yourself, how are you able to love somebody else? If you're not intimate with every facet of who you are, how can you be intimate with somebody else? These are the questions that plagued my mind when it comes to relationships and human nurture. Sure, a lot of human nature can handle these problems through type compatibility if you make sure that you're compatible with other types. But that's a consistent problem, or could be a consistent problem. Because even if you are compatible with somebody if you're immature and they are mature, or if you're both immature, it can lead to unnecessary conflict, and the relationship breaking down, and a waste of time, waste of energy, waste of resources.
Chase: 02:19 You could end up [children] in that kind of... having children in that kind of relationship, and that also leads to even more problems and more complications for the rest of your life. Why would you want that? Why would anyone want that? Why is that an experience people would like to have? It isn't. So, four pillars of self intimacy. As important as they are though there is a core principle that governs the four pillars of self intimacy. And the idea behind the four pillars is that once you've learned to master the four pillars for yourself, you are able to become self intimate and have a very intimate relationship or connection with yourself. Because that allows you to know yourself and to love yourself because if you are loving yourself, others can love you, basically, and you can also love them essentially. That's really what the message is all about. It's about learning about you and being intimate with you in such a way with those relationships because you have such a great relationship with yourself - you could have great relationships with others. That's the entire premise and point behind it, but no one has put it together so succinctly.
Chase: 03:43 Then someone by the name of Nicodemus, a long time ago, he had an interesting quote and it went like this: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Now this is where people start freaking out. "Oh man, you're preaching to me on YouTube, man. You're not getting all churchy on me are you?" No I don't care about that. I really don't. I care about wisdom and truth, right? So trust me, if I read it somewhere and it seems [why] isn't true, I'm going to tell you about it. I don't care if it's from the Bible, or the Koran, or the Upanishads. I'm going to talk about it because I maintain that wisdom is universal. Wisdom is absolute truth. Truth, well, it doesn't matter how you feel about it, truth is just what it is. Kind of like how snowflakes, everyone coming down supposedly are different from the others, right?
Chase: 04:38 Well, the truth has its own uniqueness and thus it has to be respected as such because it's not something that can change. "But it could change based on the observer man. If the observer is seeing the truth differently then it's a different truth for them." No, they're just bad at observing, has nothing to do with truth you know. Truth is not in the eye of the beholder. If that was the case, our race would have ceased to exist long ago. So let's talk about the four pillars and the foundation core principle behind the four pillars, and that is love your neighbor as yourself. Think about it. Everyone sees "love your neighbor as yourself" as this iconic ultimate greatest commandment that everyone is supposed to follow and it is a symbol of selflessness. I'm here to tell you that's not remotely true at all. That's not even how it goes.
Chase: 05:34 Love your neighbor as yourself really implies that you already have self love. What business do you have loving your neighbor if you don't even know how to love yourself first, right? That's the whole point. The hidden truth behind love your neighbor as yourself is that you're already loving yourself and you're being responsible about it, that you are responsibly selfish. It's okay to be selfish guys. It's okay. You're supposed to be. If you're not being responsibly selfish and doing the four pillars, taking responsibility for meeting your own needs, having personal boundaries, having personal standards and enforcing them, and knowing your personal goals, the four pillars of self intimacy. If you are not loving yourself because you're not taking care of those four pillars, what business do you have being in a relationship with anyone? Seriously? Someone explain it to me. Well, you can't because in order for you to love your neighbor as yourself you have to be loving yourself first.
Chase: 06:44 You have to be responsibly selfish, and you know, women usually have that figured out pretty well when compared to men. For some reason men have this problem where they're constantly seeking approval from women in... in this first world society that they end up forgetting how to have self love. How to have self intimacy. That's why it's the four pillars of self intimacy, right? If a man is not being self intimate then how can he expect to be intimate with a woman, right? And then if he is intimate with a woman, but he's not taking care of the four pillars, what does that say about the woman? What does that say about her quality? I would venture to guess that she's a woman of low quality, a woman of low standards, a woman that lacks boundaries. A woman who does not have personal goals and definitely a woman who does not take responsibility for meeting her own needs right?
Chase: 07:41 You see, it goes both ways. The problem is not just with men, it's with both genders to be honest. So we need to be wise. We need to learn from this. We need to be loving our neighbor as we love ourselves. We need to recognize that we shouldn't be loving anyone, we shouldn't be loving any neighbor, especially a woman or man in our relationships without having these four pillars covered. So in the... in the upcoming videos for this human nurture series I want to be discussing each of the four pillars at length. And we'll be going over why they're important and why anyone who seeks to be mature would want to have these four pillars covered to create a foundation of self love, and ultimately to [read], to... lead, somebody to an area of self respect. Because the final video of this series, we'll discuss just that, self respect, because it's like an equation.
Chase: 08:48 It goes like this. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. If I love myself, if I'm meeting my own needs, if I am enforcing my personal boundaries, if I am enforcing my personal standards, if I am taking responsibility for meeting my own needs, if I'm doing all four of these things, then I am ready to be loved by somebody and to love somebody else. But it's because as a result of having these four pillars covered and mastered for myself that I have... then it means I have self respect. And let me tell you folks, there's nothing more attractive, especially for men. There's nothing more attractive than somebody who has self respect, and that my friends is the hidden truth behind "love your neighbor as yourself." And we'll be discussing these concepts deeper in the upcoming videos. So if you found this video to be helpful, educational, please leave a like or subscribe. If you have any questions about "love your neighbor as yourself," go ahead and leave it in the comments section. And we're going to be doing a deep dive in some upcoming videos about these. So hope to see you there. See you guys tonight.