The Fourth Pillar Of Self Intimacy (Goals)

Transcript:

Chase: 00:01 Hey guys, it's CS Joseph with CSJoseph.life doing another human nurture video, continuing on with the series about the four pillars of self intimacy. We're going to be talking about the fourth pillar of self intimacy, and then the next video after that we'll be doing a conclusion, a summation as well as another hidden truth about the four pillars. So, before we get there let's talk about the final pillar of the four pillars of self intimacy, And that is personal goals. So this really goes back into the argument about how, you know, people when they grow up, or at least they're [they're] in process of growing up. Like, [like] they're a child, let's say, that they haven't come of age yet - so I guess in First World Society, that's what, 18 years old? So before 18 they are asked this question constantly, "What do you want to be when you grow up?", etc. That's a very common question. I even asked that of my own son and quite frankly, I'll never ask him that again.

New Speaker: 01:02 That's dumb. I'm just not going to do that. The reason is because I need to talk to him and teach him about his needs. And... that is one of the most important things, is that my son needs to be able to, you know, first pillar: take responsibility for meeting his own needs, have personal standards within himself to continue to make sure that he's meeting his own needs, and enforce external boundaries with other people... so that they do not inhibit him from meeting his own needs, basically. That's what maturity is all about. But the final component: goals, personal goals, that is really developed after the first three pillars in order have been developed and maintained, built up for, you know, self intimacy or self love. People are constantly trying to find themselves, or know themselves, or discover who they are or what they want, etc. The reason why they don't know what they want is because they're not meeting their needs.

Chase: 02:03 How do you know what you want until after you have finished meeting your needs, let's be honest, you know? And in the same way that you have to know yourself and love yourself and have self love, right? Have a responsible selfishness, right? You know, love your neighbor as yourself in order for you to be loved by others - in order for you to love others, you need to love yourself first. It is a requirement, right? To love yourself first you need to have the four pillars of self intimacy. Well, in order to reach the fourth pillar, personal goals, you need to have mastery over meeting your own needs and having standards that you enforce within yourself to meet those needs. And boundaries that you enforce with other people outside yourself to meet those needs. After you have done that, all of a sudden what's left for the mind to do? Well, people, because they're starting to develop those standards and those needs and whatnot, all of a sudden they start to have desires. They start to have wants.

New Speaker: 03:02 They want to go further with it. And then all of a sudden after all of that has happened, then they can answer the question, "What do you want?" "What do I want to be when I grow up?" They can answer that question. Guys, society has it backwards. Society is like, "Put your goals first, and then have boundaries, and then have personal standards." Okay, so how are you going to meet your goals without having you personal standards for yourself figured out? You know what I mean? Like it doesn't happen, and so people end up staying in this immature cycle because they're so focused on what they want, and have no idea what they even need. They haven't even thought about it, right? And they [and] as a result they're not able to meet their needs, and then no one respects them ,and then no one's willing to have a relationship with them. And then they're going nowhere in their life and they're wondering why they're so depressed all the time.

Chase: 03:52 I mean I would venture to guess that one of the reasons why we have such high depression rates in society is literally because of this concept, because everyone is focusing on the wrong pillar in the wrong order. They need to be focused first on needs, wants come later. Last I checked Friedrich Nietzsche discussed this at length. Needs versus wants, right? So what's more important? What's more important, a need or a want, right? You got to take care of the needs, right? The needs are important. Once you have your needs established and you have the personal standards to protect yourself from not meeting your own needs, right? Because you need to meet your own needs. No one else is gonna do it. Don't expect your woman to do it. She's not [she's not] going to meet your needs. She's not supposed to. You have to meet your needs.

Chase: 04:41 It's nice that she helps you because, you know, women are to be a helper suitable for men, but that's just a helper. And they're not taking over the entire meeting needs thing, they're with you because you can meet your own needs. Don't you get it, right? That's the whole point, you know? Like, you know, ladies... as much as some of you who have watched this channel complain about how I might treat you or things I might say or whatever. Look, I'm not doing it from some chauvinist, misogynistic point of view here. I'm doing it for your sake, right? I'm saying these things for your sake. I am criticizing you because you need to grow, but I'm also criticizing men because they need to grow and they need to take responsibility, right? Everyone though has to take responsibility for meeting their own needs, women included. Everyone has to have personal standards.

Chase: 05:29 Everyone has to have personal boundaries. Everyone needs to have personal goals because that is why you live life. After you have your needs met and you have boundaries up, guess what? You know, the pursuit of happiness? You know, what the Declaration of Independence was based on, you know? You know, "endowed by our creator with certain inalienable rights," you know? That's what those inalienable rights are: needs, standards, boundaries, right? Because we are all about trying to have that pursuit of happiness. But how can we have that pursuit of happiness until we've... and develop those personal goals until we've done the needs first, right? Until we've got the standards and the boundaries first, right? We have to have boundaries. Look at society right now. Everyone's complaining about the United States of America not having open borders. I don't believe in open [borders], not because of a political thing.

Chase: 06:31 I don't care. I don't give a damn about political narratives or anything political whatsoever. I really don't care. It's not relevant to me. What is relevant is that borders are just like personal boundaries, right? I can't pursue happiness inside my borders. I can't pursue happiness in myself as a sovereign human being, as a sovereign man, a man who has sovereignty. I cannot be a sovereign person and pursue my personal goals. I can't do this if I allow everyone to walk all over me. If I allow everyone to come into my country or my nation, right, and come at, you know, and it's an open borders, right? How am I able to pursue happiness? I can't do it because my boundaries are down. Right? And that's important for an individual as well on the micro level as well as it is for the collective -collectively speaking for our nation, right?

Chase: 07:27 Or [or] any nation. I'm not talking about just the United States of America, right? Because yes, I'm an American. I'm talking about every nation. Every nation needs to be aware of this, you know? You have to have external boundaries. The problem is, like I said yesterday, no one cares about personal boundaries anymore, which means no one is maturing. And then isn't it any wonder that the majority of people out there are immature? Isn't it any wonder that the majority of people would say that open borders is a good thing? Is it any wonder? I would venture to guess that the reason for that is because everyone's just, you know, they're immature. They're [they] don't care about enforcing external boundaries because they're immature. But when someone becomes mature and then they start enforcing those external boundaries, then all of a sudden they start to change. Comes with maturity, comes with wisdom, right?

Chase: 08:22 But if we as a society are not handling this at the personal level, if we do not care about our personal sovereignty, and if we're not willing to enforce our external boundaries, there's no way in hell we're going to be able to have our own personal goals. There's no way in hell we're going to be able to have a pursuit of happiness. That's not even real anymore. You have to have external boundaries in order for you to have a place to pursue happiness, okay? You want to be happy for yourself? Enforce those personal boundaries for you as an individual. And then because everyone as an individual, if everyone starts enforcing their personal boundaries, and everyone starts having self respect, and everyone's respecting each other - oh, okay. Then collectively we'll actually start hearing about borders and external boundaries collectively, and then all of a sudden everyone's going to be happier.

Chase: 09:16 Did you guys know that statistically the United States of America is one of the most unhappy nations on the planet? There's a reason for that. It's because of a lack of maturity. No one is meeting their needs. They are expecting somebody else to do it. Like how many people are on welfare? Think about it. Or no one is having personal standards because... why? They don't have to meet their needs so why have standards? We just talked about no one's doing external boundaries, why? "I don't have standards. I don't. My needs are being met by somebody else? Who cares?" And four: well, because you know, like, if I can't even meet my own needs, then why can I have personal goals? And then they wonder why they're unhappy, right? They wonder why they're unhappy. There's no goals, you know? You have to have personal goals. The fourth pillar, once you have the other three handled, you can have personal goals.

Chase: 10:13 You will after you develop the three first pillars. You will know what you want. You will know the kind of man or woman that you are. You will know who you are, you will know what you want. You will know the type of man you want to be in a relationship. You don't know the type of woman you want to be with and the type of relationship. And that [and that] goes mentally, ecumenically, spiritually, physically, even their, [their, their] physique. You'll have those standards. You'll have those boundaries in place. You will know who you are, you will know what you expect, you will know what you want. That is what personal goals are all about. You need to have personal goals in order to have the pursuit of happiness. That's what personal goals is all about. But to protect the pursuit of happiness, you have to make sure that you have the needs met. The standards to make sure that you will meet your needs, and the boundaries to make sure no one will inhibit you from meeting your needs, and also those boundarIes will also make sure that you get to have personal goals so that you can pursue happiness without anyone inhibiting you.

Chase: 11:20 If you're unhappy, it's your own damn fault. That's my point. It's your own fault. You're either not meeting your own needs or you have low standards. You have no boundaries. Which means you can't have personal goals or you can't fulfill your personal goals. That's the problem. You want to be happy for yourself? You have to have self love. You have to be self intimate. You have to know every component about yourself and how you tick. Its why I teach Jungian depth psychology, because human nature is a portion of how human beings are. Although this is a nurture video you have human nature and human nature, and it comes together, and it creates a human being, right? The depth psychology is just the nature component, but this is the nurture component. There's a lot more work to be done. It's not just one size fits all, people.

New Speaker: 12:06 It all comes together and we have a human being, and that human being is sovereign. It is a sovereign human being. Every person has those inalienable rights. It is personal sovereignty, okay? And every person has a right to meet their own needs; to have the ability to meet their own needs; to have personal standards for themselves. To enforce external boundaries and not have to expect somebody else to do it for them, or trust someone else to do it. They need to have the ability to do it themselves, and they need to have the freedom to have personal goals and to have that pursuit of happiness. And that freedom only comes as a result of those boundaries being met, those standards being met, and their needs being met - because they're doing it themselves.

Chase: 12:56 That is what sovereignty is all about. Self respect, right? So in that regard, you have to have personal goals. If you don't know what they are, focus on... abandon personal goals and focus on meeting your needs. And once you know your needs are met, you start creating standards. And then once you have your standards figured out, you start enforcing boundaries. People have respect. And all of a sudden you... it happens like this, [snap fingers] it just clicks. And then you already know what you want; or you know the experience that you would like to have; or the expectation. And then all of a sudden you will know who you are and you will become a sovereign human being. Someone people respect, someone people love, someone that people want to have in their lives. Or someone that really likes to have around because you are like a good flavor to them, right? You give them a good experience.

Chase: 13:50 You can't do that if you're not doing the four pillars of self intimacy. You have to know your personal goals. Like for example a woman who gets with a man, it's like... she gets with him because he's going places, because he knows his personal goals. He knows his objectives. He is going to seek those out. He is pursuing happiness, and as he becomes happy she is becoming happy as well because he wants to share it with her, right? We have to have these four pillars of self intimacy handled so that we can be in relationships with other people because we are to love our neighbor as we love ourself. And the only way we can love ourselves is if we do the four pillars of self intimacy, because then we're intimate and loving ourselves. Which means we're able to love other people and other people can love us, right?

Chase: 14:34 That's the message. That's what it means. That's the true meaning behind "love your neighbor as yourself." That is what the four pillars are for. "But I don't know who I am. I don't have any identity. You know... my father left me when I was a child. I don't know who I am, I don't know what I'm all about." Okay, that's fine. Focus on meeting your needs; have personal standards; put up personal boundaries and expectations; and then have personal goals and you will know yourself. You will know who you are, you will know where you're going. You will have self respect. You will become successful in every facet of your life because you are a sovereign human being, and you will not put up with other people infringing on your sovereignty in as much as you will never allow yourself to infringe on your personal sovereignty.

Chase: 15:30 Just remember, personal goals are what it's all about. What goals do you have? I have [I have] plenty of goals. One of my goals right now is to get a six pack just because. Because it's something I've always wanted. Sure, why not? Another goal of mine is to be an outstanding father, even though deep down I feel like I'm a bad one, often, you know? Or, you know, be an excellent husband, be a patriarch of my family, to help grow men into maturity. Women as well. But I maintain that if mature men are everywhere... women will be willing to follow them. Feminism exists because of failed patriarchy, you know? If men were leading; if men were enforcing their personal boundaries; if men had standards; if men were meeting their own needs there would be no need for feminism. [There] there'd be no need for... for patriarchy. It would finally bring life into balance. And at last humankind would be at balance with everything in this reality. And then we're all able to meet our personal goals. We're all able to pursue happiness together as a race. This could actually happen. But that comes with every single individual learning the four pillars, mastering the four pillars, and having personal goals.

New Speaker: 16:50 It's all about personal goals, guys. What are you... what [is] your goals? What are you doing? What are you going to do? Why? Who are you? What's your purpose? You will know these things after meeting your needs, standards, and boundaries. It will just come to you naturally. You will see. Having personal goals is super important, having personal goals is what makes life interesting. It is the pursuit of happiness. If you don't have personal goals, you really don't know yourself and that's probably because you don't have standards. You're not doing your boundaries and you're not meeting your own needs.

New Speaker: 17:25 So anyway, if you found this educational, enlightening, insightful, please subscribe to the channel and leave a like. That would be fantastic, I'd appreciate it. Got one more video [on] this series, and then we're going to be doing a deep dive into Jungian depth psychology again with each of the 16 types and talking about compatibility between the types. So that'll be a fantastic series. A bit difficult, but... we'll get through it for sure. So anyway, I'll see you all tonight.

 

AUTHOR


C. S. Joseph

Founder, CEO - CSJ.life

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